I said recently in an interview I did that the keys to happiness are gratitude, and to stop comparing your life to others. Over the last year or so I fell into the trap of comparing my life, and where I am at in comparison to others. It was making me feel really bad about myself, and my life (not okay!). After talking to a lot of different men and women lately, it seems to be a trend. A lot of people kill their own happiness by simply comparing themselves to others. Well we are going to stop that right here, and right now! Ever since I picked up on what I was doing, and learned how to change it, I have been living such a better, and happier life!
Okay we all know how hard it is to not compare yourself. It is so much easier said than done. You may think wow she is so pretty, I want to look like her! Or wow she’s so successful in her career, I wish I could find a job like that. Or wow they are the perfect couple, I wish I had a relationship like that! Or thinking because she has a successful relationship she must be better than you! These are absolutely insane thoughts that we have. We do it all the time! For things as simple as the new bag your girlfriend just got that you would just die to have! Comparison is everywhere. It’s really starting to become unhealthy. So what is the biggest culprit? Social media (don’t get me wrong I still love social media, but you will see where I am going with this)!
With the rise of social media over the last couple years we basically all live our lives online. If you go to a concert everyone is holding up their phone the whole time to show the rest of the world (or their couple thousand followers) how much fun they are having! We take pictures when we go out, when we are on vacation, even when we just look nice! We document every single thing on social media. Oh, except one thing; the bad stuff! Yup, who do you see posting about the struggles in their life? I mean sometimes we see the occasional sad quote someone posts that they hope their newly became ex girlfriend/boyfriend will see. But really we only post the good stuff. We want to portray ourselves in this positive light. Always putting our best foot forward. We want our lives to look perfect, and glamorous! Like those girls who are always posting all the new nice things they got, always on vacation, and you’re thinking how in the hell can she afford all that? Social media allows you to only show what you want, and sometimes make it appear to be better than it really is.
Now that we have social media where everyone is portraying this “perfect” life, we start to question our own. I can’t tell you how many messages I get from people saying how much I inspire them because my life is so together. Well hate to break it to you all, but it’s not! I am happy I inspire you all, and I want to keep doing that, but I want you all to know I relate. I think we all would feel so much better about our lives if we realized more people relate to our struggles than we think! Just ask a few people, and I promise you they will feel the same in some way. I am going through so many of the same struggles as you all are. There are so many things I want to do in my life, and want to change. One thing I struggle withe the most is the picture in my head of how my life is supposed to be at my age. I am twenty-six, and I thought by my late twenties I would be married with kids. Of course I thought that when I was younger. I had this whole plan in my head of exactly how my life was going to go. Literally year by year. I would go to college (probably meet my husband there), find a job right after graduation, work my way up in my career, get married, have a few children, and live happily ever after! I honestly can’t help but to laugh at that now!
When we grow up we realize life is crazy, and it takes you places you would have never imagined. That is perfectly fine; it is what makes life so exciting! There is no real answers for what is supposed to be happening at any age in your life. We must remember that everyone has their own story, and their own timeline for their life. Someone could be doing something at twenty that someone else wont be doing until they are thirty (or maybe never at all). Just because you have a degree doesn’t mean you need to have your career figured out right after graduation. It is okay if you don’t get married and have children by your thirties. It is also okay to use your twenties as a time to experiment with your life, and truly find your happiness! It is okay to be single, and focusing on yourself! You don’t always have to be in a relationship to be “happy.”
I find myself thinking about this stuff all the time. Where my life “should” be. Honestly for a while it brought me a lot of anxiety, and sadness. I thought my life wasn’t going how it was supposed to be. Just because I would look at other people on social media, and think I needed my life to be like theirs. I felt like everyone else had all the things I wanted. The things I was already supposed to have. The successful career, marriage, etc. Well the truth is you have no idea what each and every one of those people are really going through. You don’t know their real authentic lives. They could have it worse than you, you just don’t know it. That is why it is so important to be grateful for all the things you have in your life at any given time. Your life is your own journey, and things will happen for you when they are meant to happen. Just because you haven’t accomplished every single thing you want to in your life yet, doesn’t mean that you wont. But you have to stop and appreciate what you have at this very moment. Your life is where it is meant to be right now, and that is a beautiful thing if you really think about it.
Once I stopped comparing myself, and really focused on my gratitude, it completely changed my life. Stop stressing on what hasn’t come yet, and have faith that it will. The things you have now you probably wished for a few years ago, so don’t forget to stay thankful! Being thankful for what we have brings us so much happiness, and it attracts more happiness to our lives! I hope this helps any of you who are struggling with where you are at in your life, or any kind of comparison issues you are going through. I wish someone would have said these things to me a few months ago! After talking to different people, and seeing how similar our struggles were, it made me realize we all go through so many of the same things we just don’t talk about it. So I am here to talk about it with you all, and I hope it helps!